What if
by Danielle.Scott
Summary: This is my version of the ending of Lauren, if Doyle died and Emily didn't get hurt too badly. The team have differeing reactions, and Emily reacts differently to them,


Emily and Doyle are rolling on the ground fighting. Emily picks up the broken chair leg and hits him around the head, when he falls; she pins him down and attempts to hold him. They both know that he is stronger, but the determination within her is overpowering. She needs to protect Declan, and now Doyle knows he is alive, he is not safe. The power goes out, and she loses concentration for at most 2 seconds. Doyle is up, he threatens her with the wooden weapon, "Tell me where he is, I deserve the truth, Love" Doyle spat out. He watches as she considers telling him, "You will never know. He is safe and he doesn't need, or want you" Doyle was too emotional, she was getting to him, and he was getting angrier. "Why did you sell me out? I thought we loved each other, you told me you loved me!"  
"I did, or Lauren did. But I was doing my Job. I had to give information about you, but when I met Declan, I knew I had to protect him. I had to fake his death; I loved him like he was my own. I want him to stay safe" Emily was cautious, she knew he was getting angrier, but he was still in control, he had the chair leg pressed into her neck. She just had to keep him talking; Hotch will come to rescue her. It had to be her team that caused the power to go out, so she just needed to stall. "I'm so sorry, I never wanted to hurt you."  
"Well, Love, it's too late for sorry. I was locked away because of you. My child doesn't know his father, all because of you."  
"He is a good kid Ian. He is clever, he plays soccer. He is _happy_ Ian, why try to take that from him?"  
He thought for a while, she used to time to shift her position, he was no longer pinning her against the wall, but she couldn't risk an attack, so she kept quiet. She was nearly at the door when Doyle noticed her trying to escape. "Come back here." Doyle's anger seemed to have lessened. "Are you in contact with him?" Emily shook her head. She had not spoken directly to him in such a long time. "No, I email Louise every month. He knows who you are. Well, he knows you love him and he loves you. When he is old enough, I will tell him who and what you are. He will choose to be the complete opposite of you, because he knows better. That is why I wanted him away from you. He could never have your life."  
Doyle was looking at the woman, just looking. Unsure whether she was telling the truth, he decided to press for more information. He was so deep in thought that he hadn't noticed the door open but because of the potential danger, the team hadn't stormed in; they were trying to creep up on him. But at the last minute he heard something, and, as if it was a reflex, smacked Prentiss right across the face with the wooden weapon. He was shot instantly; bullets came at him from 3 directions. Hotch shot from Doyle's left, hitting him straight in the chest. Morgan shot from behind, hitting him square in the back and Rossi shot from above, splitting Doyle's skull. Hotch was the first to reach Emily "We need a medic!" he shouted down his microphone, and making sure everyone knew she was alive. "Emily, look at me. Are you ok? Emily talk to me" Hotch spoke frantically, he needed her to be alive. She groaned, barely able to move her head she turned to look at him "I knew you would save me." And with that the medics pushed him out of the way, carefully moving her onto a stretcher and carried her out into the awaiting ambulances.

The team met in the hospital waiting room. "What happened? I couldn't listen after you had entered the building, it was too difficult." Garcia was rambling; she needed all of her superheroes to come home safely. "Baby Girl, stop working yourself up," Morgan walked over to calm her down. "Doyle is dead, he can't hurt Em anymore. He can't hurt anyone. Emily is in surgery, she got a few nasty head injuries, but nothing too serious we don't think. She should recover." Garcia just fell into Morgan's arms, and he just held her as she let through the sobs. "It's ok to cry, she's going to be alright" He was just talking, trying to reassure them both. No one had noticed that JJ was missing from the waiting room. She walked in followed closely by Clyde. "Hey guys, I just got an update on the way in here, she's out of surgery and should make a full recovery. We can visit her in pairs, but she hasn't woken up yet. If she wakes, we have to tell the doctor straight away. I think Hotch and Rossi should go in first." JJ had picked the two oldest members of the team to go first as they were pacing and neither had said anything the whole time they had been at the hospital. She figured they needed this. After they had left, Clyde sat down in the corner away from the team, this was a private time for them and he felt he shouldn't have been intruding in such a way. JJ went and sat next to Seaver, as the newest member of the team, she hadn't yet found the person who would make sure she was ok, so JJ took the role. After a while of sitting in silence, JJ saw Reid pacing outside of the waiting room, she could see him wearing his sunglasses. She made sure Seaver was going to be alright, and she went out to talk to him. "JJ, I can't think straight." He was almost crying, "I need her to wake up" JJ's heart almost broke at the pain in his voice. She brought him back into the waiting room and made him sit in the seats between Morgan and Seaver. They would face this as a whole team, a group of people who, at this moment in time, cared about nothing but their friend, their family. Hotch and Rossi came back after 15 minutes, and the team decided that Garcia and Morgan could go next.

Hotch went downstairs to get them all some breakfast, it had been a long night for all of them, and no one was interested in taking care of them self. He arrived back after 20 minutes to find that Reid and Seaver had gone to see Emily. "Has there been any change?" Everyone shook their heads. He subconsciously profiled his team and their guest. Morgan and Garcia had sat together again just reminding themselves of their love for Emily. Rossi had walked over to JJ to comfort her, no doubt because she had spent all of her time since they found Emily trying to comfort everyone else. Clyde was interesting. He was still sat on his own, probably feeling uncomfortable about intruding, but Hotch wanted him there. Emily obviously cared for this man, so he should be here. He decided to reach out to him, make him feel more comfortable. After setting down the breakfasts and telling everyone to dig in, he took some toast over to Clyde. After Clyde rejected the food, Hotch sat down next to him "You aren't intruding you know. We all want you to be here for her." Clyde looked up at him. The man was currently showing more emotion than he had probably in the past year. Clyde was pleased that Emily had found a group of people who cared about her so much, although he was slightly bitter that she didn't trust him that much. Spencer and Ashley came back into the waiting room, and as JJ got up to leave for Emily's room, she stopped to tell Clyde that he should come as well. Happily he followed; he was glad that Emily's team were being so welcoming. He was not so accepting of them at first, so he was shocked that they extended their private grieving space to include him. JJ just held her hand. She couldn't say anything; she could barely look at her without feeling guilty. If she had worked quicker, they might have found her earlier, and she might not have been lying here. Clyde was different. He too was feeling guilty, but more because he knew now that the team would've been helpful. He should have allowed her to tell them earlier. She could have been safer and it was his fault. After their designated time, they both moved to leave. JJ stopped, "Do you want a minute alone?" JJ sensed the relief in the other man. "Please, I just want to apologise"  
"Go ahead, I will wait outside" JJ walked out, but looking behind her, she saw the pain in the other man's eyes. She felt helpless, but she had to be strong. The team needed her to be strong. After 2 minutes she heard Clyde bang on the, "Call a doctor" she heard. She welled up as the doctor ran in. Emily was awake, and she was talking. JJ ran back to the others, followed shortly by Clyde. Once JJ had told them she was awake, Clyde added that she wanted to talk to him and Hotchner before anyone else. Hotch left the waiting room knowing he would do whatever she wanted him to, also knowing that the man next to him would do just as much.

Walking into the room, the first thing Emily said was "How's the team?" Hotch smiled, he knew she would think of them before herself, however he was worried that she was not going to address what happened to her. "Their fine, a bit shaken but fine." Emily sighed with relief, she had no clue whether they would hate her or not want to see her, but as long as they were safe, she was happy with that. "Emily, why did you ask to see us?" Emily turned away, slightly embarrassed. "I just wanted to feel safe, and have you here, sir, makes me feel safer. And Clyde, I need you to know that I'm sorry for not trusting you. You deserved more from me."Both Clyde and Hotch were speechless from what she had said. Clearly she was still afraid and clearly she blamed herself. This broke Hotch's heart. She was going to punish herself. "I'm going to stay with you, if that's ok, the team can visit one by one. I will be here as long as you need" Hotch said confidently, there was no way he was going to let her feel vulnerable. Clyde nodded and dismissed himself. On his way out, he saw the doctor and explained how it would be beneficial for the whole team to be in the room with her. The doctor agreed, so while Clyde went to find the team, the doctor explained why there was going to be the change. When the team arrived, Hotch was surprised to see that Clyde had not returned. He would find him later; meanwhile he sat in a chair towards the back of the room just watching. He noticed that Derek's behaviour had changed. He was no longer showing any signs of relief, but a mixture of pain and anger; he just couldn't tell who the anger was aimed at. JJ was just crying with happiness, there was no other emotion on her face other than pure happiness. Garcia still looked worried, as though she didn't believe that her friend was really ok, but Hotch knew that she would be optimistic about it all. Rossi was slightly harder to profile. The eldest member of the team clearly thought of Emily as like a daughter, so to see her in so much pain must be heart wrenching, but he looked determined. Determined to find a way to make her recover, also to make sure nothing hurts her like this again. Reid was even harder to profile. He looked hurt, small as though he had recently lost faith. Hotch knew the cause of his pain, he was hurt that she hadn't confided in him or the team. Families don't hide things from each other, and that's what she did. She ran. That hurt him, he felt like he was abandoned yet again. He saw Emily looking slightly distressed so suggested that they leave her to rest. Once the team had gone, and only Hotch remained, he finally said what was on his mind. "They _are_ happy to have you back." Emily sniffed; Hotch could tell she was holding back tears. "I don't know; I lied to you all, I ran instead of coming clean, I endangered all of your lives and I hurt you so much." She just let the tears fall. They were sat so close, but she still tried to distance herself. "Emily, please stop trying to hide form me" Emily stopped wriggling, she just looked at him. "Hotch; I want you to know I only ran to protect you. I thought that if I left when I did, you would be kept safe. He said he would kill you." Hotch reached out and held her hand. "Emily, I understand why you ran, I don't blame you, I would have done the same. I'm just glad you're safe" Emily looked away again, when she finally brought herself to look at him, she saw the honesty in his eyes. "You may feel like that, but the others, Derek, he hates me. He can barely look at me." Hotch shook his head. "No, he just needs to adjust. It is his problem, not yours. Please Emily, get some rest. I will be here when you wake. I need to find Clyde; I think you could do with seeing each other again."  
Emily nodded and fell asleep almost instantly. Hotch left, after placing a kiss on her forehead. The past few days showed him exactly how much he cared about her.

"Clyde, where did you go?" Hotch still had his phone number from when Garcia tracked him. "I left; I was intruding on your team at a personal time. I shouldn't have been there."  
"It was a room full of Emily's family, you deserved to be there." Hotch knew what he was saying was true, but if the man truly cared he would never had left, so it was hard for Hotch to trust him.  
Hotch turned around when he heard someone approach. "Sorry, I couldn't have left." Clyde was walking up to him. Hotch saw that he had been crying, but didn't mention, that would be too personal.  
"Emily needs you. She needs someone who understands." The man just nodded at him.  
"I need you to promise me something, when I leave, promise me you will take care of her. I see the way she looks at you and she trusts you more than anyone else, even more than me. Take care of her and I know she will be safe. Hotch nodded, shook the other man's hand and went back into Emily's room to rest on the couch.

The team visited her individually every day until she was allowed to leave. Hotch only left the hospital to shower and get supplies. He even had Jack come to the hospital to see Emily. Hotch knew he was likely to be overstepping some boundaries, but when she was cleared to leave, he insisted that she was to stay with him until she had fully recovered. He was surprised when she didn't argue but just accepted that she was too tired to fight him. Back at his apartment, Hotch had already set up a room for her to stay in, so as they arrived, he assumed she would want to rest. He was wrong. She insisted on staying up, watching a movie, so how could he say no? At that point he would do whatever she wanted him to, and even though she didn't know that, he did, and that is how he wanted it. They stayed up until she was ready for bed. Finally she admitted why she didn't want to go, "I don't feel safe being alone." Hotch rested a hand on her shoulder, "You will never be alone again" And she could tell he meant it. He pulled out the two beds into the living area (Jack's and the one he made up for her because his double bed wouldn't fit) and they both slept in the room, comfortable knowing they had each other close by.  
Hotch finally allowed Emily back into the office 2 weeks after her fight with Doyle. They had kept that sleeping arrangement every night, and neither showed signs of wanting to stop. Jack got to sleep in his dad's bed since Hotch was sleeping in his, so no one was unhappy with the arrangement. Hotch had informed his chain of command of the housing arrangement so no one could complain or protest as the two agents lived together. The team had visited Emily many times over the past two weeks, but still, she couldn't help but sense the anger coming from Derek, or the hurt from Reid. She hated that she had hurt them so was eager to get back to work and try and fix things. On her first day back, the first thing she did was grab Reid, and drag him to the conference room so they could talk. "Reid, I'm so sorry I hurt you. I didn't mean to abandon you again, I know it was a difficult time for you and I know you were relying on me. Please tell me what I can do to get you to forgive me." Reid just looked at her. After he had thought things through (which took quite a long time for him, considering his usual thought speeds) he reached out and hugged her close, not letting her go until he was sure of what to say. "Emily, I was hurt that you thought you couldn't confide in me. I thought you didn't trust me. I was angry that I couldn't help you. You are my family, I would have done anything to help you."  
"Spencer, I wanted to protect you. I do trust you but I cared about you too much to let you get hurt by him. Can you forgive me?" He nodded, unable to form words and again pulling her in for a hug. "I was so scared, I don't know what I would have done if I had lost you."  
"Reid, your headaches, how are you feeling?"  
"When you left they became almost intolerable, but they are better. I think I have more distractions now. You know I am really glad you're safe. Please don't leave again." Emily nodded and a tear dropped down her cheek. "I'm not going anywhere" and with that Reid was also crying. Hotch walked in to find the pair sat crying together, "You guys ok?" Emily was slightly startled but nodded. Reid looked slightly embarrassed but looked to Emily to make sure she was ok. Emily was relieved that Reid was ok. The pain in his eyes was still there, but less. He was healing.

Morgan was going to be more difficult, but at least the rest of the team had accepted her back. Garcia just seemed happy to have her back; Rossi was overly protective, but ultimately reassured that she was safe. Seaver was happy to have her mentor back, and JJ was making frequent visits to the bureau, probably to keep an eye on things. Emily and Reid walked back into the bullpen to be met by a glare from Morgan. He really was angry. Emily decided confrontation was not yet a good thing, so just left a cup of coffee on his desk for him. After a few weeks, the tension between the two was still so obvious that even Garcia noticed it, and the rest of the team were trying to formulate a plan to fix things. They had no good ideas though. No one wanted to antagonise Morgan, and they could all see that Prentiss was struggling enough with the rejection. Emily however, was thinking of her own plan. She had decided enough time had passed. Confrontation was really the only option. She decided she was going to talk to him, and he was going to listen. She noticed that they were the only people in the bullpen, and even though that was strange, she was glad there would be no one there to see them.  
"Derek, we need to talk"  
"No, I don't think we do"  
"Morgan. What is your problem?"  
"My problem? I guess my problem could be you. You walk back in here and just expect us to forgive you, act like nothing's wrong, without a single explanation."  
"How am I supposed to know what you want me to explain if you refuse to talk to me?"  
"What was I supposed to say? 'Hey you're back, why did you endanger the lives of some innocent people?'"  
"So that's your problem? You think I was reckless, that I was stupid?"  
_By now, their conversation had gotten louder, they were shouting at each other across the bullpen, Emily held her ground, but Morgan was subtly retreating, distancing himself from her. Hotch and the rest of the team had heard their shouting, and had run back into the bullpen from Rossi's office, where they had been talking about a possible solution. They appeared to be too late; the pair had erupted with rage.  
_"That's one of my issues yeah"  
"Oh so there's more? What else have I done to offend you?"  
"Nothing, just leave it"  
"No! We are going to sort this out, I need to know what's wrong."  
"Of course you do, you want to know everything about us, but tell us nothing about yourself"  
"What! How can you say that? I told you everything about me except for one short period in my past and you act like I've been a completely different person around you."  
"Well, have you not. I would never have thought that you would lower yourself to... It's not important! I don't know you.  
"Oh I get it now! You're mad at me for sleeping with Doyle? You think I wanted to do that?"  
"I don't know, but the person I thought you were would never have done that."  
"You do, you think I was happy about it"  
"Well, weren't you? You are a strong woman Emily, you could have said no"_  
_"I COULD HAVE SAID NO? You know I had to get close to him to get the information that was needed! I did it to save lives."  
"You could have just been his friend, got close to him like that. Other people have profiled without shagging their target!"  
"Shagging? I think that's a bit vulgar!"  
"Oh, so there were feelings involved? Did you have feelings for him Prentiss?  
_Emily just stood there, unsure of how to respond. She knew the answer, but no one would understand. The team couldn't move, they knew it was probably a private conversation, but they had to know. Sure, some of them had these thoughts, but would never ask about it. And now she was going to say her side of the story. They physically couldn't move. Morgan pushed on.  
_"What? You did have feelings for him? DID YOU LOVE HIM?"  
**"**Why is that important? It doesn't change the facts."  
"It's important because you fell in love with a terrorist!"  
"That's not true! You have no proof. Even if it was true, it doesn't change that I have worked hard to become a part of this team. I am a good profiler, I can handle myself, and I don't have the time or patience to deal with your bull."  
"What? So you're better than me now. You're too good for us?"  
"No! I am not too good for the team; they are worth fighting for, unlike you. If you aren't even going to consider my apology, why should I try?"  
"Just tell me the truth. Did you love him?"  
"Yes. Well, Lauren did. He was different to what people thought."  
"Oh, he was different! You just bring out the compassionate side in men do you? Is that how you got Hotch to take you in? Were you 'discovering' his compassionate side too?"  
"HOW DARE YOU! He was being a good friend! You think I would do that? Get your head out of your ass and listen to what I have to say. Doyle treated me right. He was a gentleman, and he was nice. He showed me his domestic side, and you know what, it was easy to fall in love with him. That doesn't make me a bad person. You can't help who you fall in love with. So BACK OFF!"

_The team thought it had gone too far now. Hotch ran down and pulled Emily away. Rossi and Reid were dragging Morgan out, Garcia and Ashley just watched, shocked at the pair._

"I'm so sorry Hotch. Please don't be angry. I should have handled things much better, but I got so angry with him. I needed to try" Emily burst into tears. Hotch had become a true friend to her in the past few weeks. She hated to be so vulnerable in front of him. Hotch wasn't angry with her, he was concerned.  
"Emily, do you need to talk?" Emily couldn't talk anymore. She just nodded and curled up into a ball on the couch in Hotch's office. "No sir, I think I should go back home. I will collect my things later." Effectively being dismissed from his own office, Hotch left her to be alone. He walked into the bullpen to find Garcia and Seaver still stood looking into the bullpen as though they could rewind what just happened. "Are you two alright?" Hotch was concerned about his team, understandably, they may not approve of what just happened. "Yeah, Emily?"  
"She's ok. A bit ashamed I think, but ok." Garcia nodded in acceptance, but Seaver wasn't sure how she felt about the situation. Rossi came back into the bullpen with Reid. "Where's Morgan?" Hotch demanded.  
"I sent him home" Rossi gave Hotch a look as if to say not to ask anymore. Reid still looked nervous, as though he was betraying a friend. "Hotch, he was a bit shaken. He didn't seem angry though. Just confused." Reid practically whispered, not wanting anyone to hear. "Dave, a word please" Rossi nodded and followed Hotch out of the bullpen and into his office. "How's she doing?"  
"She'll be ok. She wants to go home."  
"You don't want her to?"  
"After today, I'm pretty sure she doesn't feel safe on her own."  
"Well, tell her to stay."  
"No, after what Morgan said, she won't want to come home with me."  
"What do you want me to do?"  
"Take her in. She feels as safe with you as she does me."  
"Ok, but only if she's happy with it"  
"I'm going to have a word with Morgan, what he said was out of line. Can you make sure the rest of the team are good?"  
"Go easy, he was just venting."

"I'm going to talk to Morgan, do you need anything?" Hotch poked his head into his office. Emily was still curled into a ball and she looked exhausted.  
"Can I come with you? I need to apologise to him, and staying here is not helping me clear my head."  
"Sure, Em. Come on let's go." They took Hotch's SUV but didn't take into account the traffic that would be building up at this time, so the journey to Morgan's took a lot longer than they thought it would, giving them time to talk.  
"Em, I don't want you to be alone. I understand you wanting to move out, but..." Emily knew where this conversation was going; he was going to tell her to stay. "Em, please, if you don't want to stay with me, stay with Dave." She was ready to protest, but she had not expected him to let her go.  
"Why Dave?"  
"Because he won't let anyone hurt you."  
"Who is going to hurt me?"  
"I don't know, but I want you to feel safe."  
"I am safe, I need some space. Sir, what Morgan said, he was right, well nearly. I need some time away from you, clear my head." They sat in silence, had she really just said what he thought she had? Did she have feelings for him? He looked over at her, she couldn't meet his eyes.  
"Ok then, go back home, if that's what you want."  
"Thank you Aaron. But, if you don't mind, I would like to visit you and Jack. I think I'd miss him too much if I didn't see him."  
"You are welcome in my home anytime."

They pulled up outside Derek's place. "Em, are you sure you want to do this?" She nodded and walked up to his door, letting Hotch knock on. "Derek, let us in. We need to sort this out." Derek opened the door wearing gym gear; clearly he'd been beating out his frustration on his punch bag. "I'm sorry Hotch, I was out of line and I didn't mean anything that I said. Em, please look at me. I truly am sorry." Emily found her voice, well, a weak vulnerable version of her voice.  
"Is that what you really think of me Derek?" She was close to tears. Derek shook his head and wrapped himself around her, "No Em, I was angry and I didn't mean it." Hotch had to join in.  
"Derek, we get it, but you crossed a line. Everyone heard what you said, and even if you didn't mean it, people will talk."  
"Well let them, me and the team will back you two. No one can hurt you with us around. You've not done anything wrong."  
"Yet" Emily added quietly, only Hotch heard her but it still made him grin. Maybe their relationship could change.  
"Can you work with me Em? Do you still trust me?" Emily nodded, and Hotch added "The team works because we all have faith in each other. We need to trust each other."  
"Hotch, we're a family. I trust you all. Em, I do trust you, I was just hurt that you didn't tell me. I get it now. The team can go back to normal." Emily shook her head, "It's not the same without JJ, is there any way of getting her back?"  
Hotch nodded, I'm working on something.

_**I know the endings a bit rubbish, but it's the best I could do. Review please.**_


End file.
